Dear Life, Affection, Hope and all ever happen...

There's a relief feeling.. Yeah.. I want it that way.. Coz I know.. I have a kind of bad feeling.. About everything that happened.. And then I'm sure that I did it right.. After all this messy time.. Well, we have such a different world.. Many obstacles in yourself.. And everything's around you.. Hey... I dont need ur money, ur gorgeous things.. ur everything... If u think it will make me into you.. It's not something that can make me fall.. You didnt deserve to be waited.. Yeah, coz u still play around with ur own life.. You just can't be your self.. So I must go on.. But after all.. Still I have to say thanks to you.. For everything.. Your affection, care.. Every single thing that make me laugh Even just a moment.. Thanks for ever been in my heart.. Though it just a lie.. I know.. You put many lies in this relationshit.. I'll forgive you for all.. then I'll forget it all.. the bad things that ever come.. Though it's hard.. It's s...

This night... while waiting on my PC.. When I had a pen and paper in my hand.. (something rare) I don't know, but the words are flowing... and I just write it.. and then share it here.. I wanna call it poem.. but I guess.. It's not a poem.. but only a scratch from my heart... So... This is it.. Tell me how can I survive? This fragile heart can't made as though.. That I just need someone by my side..   Tell me how can I pretend that I'm strong? Everyday I put a smile on my face.. Although deep inside I scream along.. And.. Tell me how could I'm sure that it is you... One who will be with me.. for the rest of my life... But still.. You're not here.. Just tell me... What should I do.. You know I love you.. And I know for certainty.. That my soul desires you..   Dear boy.. I can't wait for the rest of my life.. It's for someone that far across the distance... Akhirnya malah aq yang buat puisi... hhmm...

Bingung mulai dari mana.. kepengen ngeluarin smua2nya disini.. smua emosi dan segala hal yang aq simpan di hati dan otak ini.. Bukan hal yang biasa gw lakuin. curhat tentang My F*cking Love Life yang kadang buat gw so damn.. g ngerti harus gimana.. Banyak banget hal yang terjadi di hidup gw... and my love life.. beberapa taun terakhir ini.. Waktu nulis ini gw lage home alone.. ditemani Lullaby nya Creed yang slow dan dalem lyricnya,,, bener2 masuk,,, I like that song.. Well... orang bisa nangis, bisa down dan bisa sedih karena patah hati... itu biasa.. tapi sebaliknya.. nolak cowok yang bener2 sayang ama kita ternyata jg bikin sedih... :( Such a drama.. gw pernah berdosa banget ama seseorang.. yeah.. seseorang yang udah cinta banget ama gw.. udah kepengen jadiin gw pendamping idupnya.. tapi gw bener2 ngancurin harapannya.. Yeah,, I know I'm a bitch.. I'm a sinner.. Tapi kalo gw paksain... pada akhirnya pasti dy yang lebih sakit, ngenes.. dan gw stress.. karena ...